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Tropical Dance Party 1:290:00/1:29
ORIGINS
Declassified documents reveal that little is known about the entity called CRACKERS. All available evidence suggests that CRACKERS is likely an extra-dimensional being. However, there are still many unanswered questions about how this travel is conducted, the frequency at which it occurs, and the intentions of this supernaturally funky life form.
It's rare that an artist can be considered a legend for decades, yet remain unknown. However, it is also rare for an artist to be an extra-dimensional being. Through unprecedented advancements in multidimensional communication, CRACKERS has made invaluable contributions to humanity, and is therefor, the most influential creator that you've never heard of.
THE FACTS
On most timelines, the first transmissions from CRACKERS arrived in 2005, via the Myspace website; this signal remained active until 2009. The encoded messages received during this period, which greatly resembled music, were generally utilized as such. Then came silence.
Now, it seems that CRACKERS has returned, or in other words, CRACKERS IS BACK.
While CRACKERS is an entity shrouded in mystery, there are several facts that we have been able to confirm:
- CRACKERS is repetitive, derivative, noise that can only be classified as music in a legal sense.
- CRACKERS makes music that sounds like it's from a video game, in an infomercial, in a fever-dream.
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CRACKERS works to assemble a universal CRACK PACK.
INFLUENCES
Our research, although inconclusive, does indicate that CRACKERS' transmissions share consistencies with, and may be influenced by: Dr. Bombay, Venga Boys, Phil Lynott, Freezepop, The Cars, The Bravery, Grandmaster Flash, MF DOOM, Tycho, DJ Kool, The Polish Ambassador, Gunter & The Sunshine Girls, Dirty Vegas, Cascada, Girl Talk, Ace of Base, Massive Attack, Dschinghis Khan, Captain Jack, ABBA, Bee Gees, Eiffel 65, O-Zone, Dan Balan, MUNYA, Les Squelettes, Todd Rundgren, Cheech & Chong, Snoop Dogg, Paul McCartney, David Wise, Eveline Fischer, Koji Kondo, Rob Hubbard, Don Veca, Josh Mancell, Morcheeba, etc.